The Bond

I'm a great fan of Margaret Visser. In fact, she is probably the only anthropological writer I would now bother to read again so it is inspiring to see that she has been busily documenting everyday life during the many years since I first read "Much Depends on Dinner".

Of all the stories in the Bible, the worst must be that of the fate of the man who would not wear a wedding garment to the feast. I consoled myself when this story, definitely in the horror genre, was first told, by imagining that somebody probably went to find him and brought him enough to eat.

It is not a truly Jewish story, I think, as the bonding food rituals in that tradition do not tend to involve depriving people of nourishment. On the contrary, my Jewish cookery books, bursting with milk and bread, are more likely to call for dieting from time to time, if carried out to the letter of the law.

I very much enjoyed teaching in a Jewish school where a crash course in Deuteronomy was part of my steep learning curve. I quickly learned which foods not to mention, even if they were on the national curriculum and the end of term feast made by the older students was delicious.

Respect for the Orthodox tradition ensures that I would know never to offer the offending ingredients or serve a lasagne mixing meat and cheese.

However banishment from the table is a practice used by bullies in every society to keep social bonds alive, putting the survival of the group over that of the individual.

Much food for thought...